Sea Legs

Too bad she isn't
your type

 

 

"Love looks not with the eyes,
but with the mind;
And therefore is winged Cupid
painted blind."

William Shakespeare

Sea Legs :: Chapter One

One look and Kelly Ridenour was in love.

At over a thousand feet long and thirteen stories high, the Emerald Duchess was the largest ship in the Emerald Cruise Line’s fleet. It gleamed against the sparkling Biscayne Bay, a waft of silver smoke streaming from its towering stacks and dissipating into the bright Miami sky.

Yvonne Mooney snapped a photo from the taxi as it crested the bridge leading to the cruise terminal. “There she is—our home away from home for the next twelve days.”

A finger in the air, Kelly counted the rows of windows to the ninth deck, which was one of three decks lined with balconies. Her stateroom was in that row, somewhere aft, three levels from the top. “You might have to drag me off that ship when we get back. January in Rochester sucks.”

“That’s why this was the perfect Christmas present for Steph and me to give each other.”

“And me to give myself.”

Yvonne crouched to keep the ship in her viewfinder, snapping off another photo as the taxi circled the port. “Now I just have to get Steph off her Blackberry for a few hours, and we’ll actually have a vacation.”

Kelly chuckled at the image. “You probably should have kidnapped her and made her come down early to go diving with us.” The last time she had gotten together with Yvonne and her partner was over dinner at a local Irish pub. Steph, a real estate agent, had spent most of the evening texting a title company to finalize plans for a closing.

“Probably not a good idea. Steph’s not into all the water stuff. I bet she spends the whole twelve days on this cruise with her nose in a book.”

Kelly marveled at how Yvonne and Steph had endured for eighteen years despite having so little in common. They even looked like total opposites—Yvonne tall and athletic with short spiked hair, and Steph petite with long tight curls that seemed to have a life of their own.

“At least we’ll all be warm for a while,” Yvonne added. “Steph reminds me every winter that it hardly ever snowed where she grew up in Memphis.”

“It’s amazing you got her to move to Rochester.”

“That’s nothing. Natalie moved all the way from Mississippi just to be near us. All she cared about was getting out of Pascagoula.”

Natalie Chatham, whom Kelly hadn’t yet met, was Steph and Yvonne’s longtime friend from college. She had decided at the last minute to come along on the cruise, and accepted Kelly’s offer to share a cabin. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Just don’t expect her to get in the water. She’s a bigger princess than Steph.”

“I’m telling your girlfriend you called her a princess.”

“She won’t care. Both of them would consider it a compliment.

And when it comes to being prissy, neither of them holds a candle to Didi or Pamela. You aren’t going to believe those two.”

Kelly snickered to herself as the cab entered the line to the luggage drop-off. She happened to like prissy ladies. She just didn’t want to be one. “What time are the others getting here?”

“Their plane is supposed to land at two fifteen, but who knows if they’ll be on time? Steph called while you were in the shower this morning and said Rochester got five inches of snow last night.”

“Now aren’t you glad we came down early?” In their three extra days, they had managed a deep sea fishing trip and a dive class at John Pennekamp State Park, where Yvonne had picked up her resort dive certificate. Kelly had gotten her PADI Divemaster certificate thirteen years ago when she was in the navy and stationed at Key West. “At least the two of us will be on that ship when she pulls out.”

Yvonne stowed her camera in its bag. “We’re not due to leave until five o’clock, but that storm socked the whole northeast. I wouldn’t be surprised if they held us in port for the late arrivals.”

“I may not care if we sit in port the whole time. That ship’s a beauty.”

“Except if we sit in port, they won’t open the casinos. We have to be in international waters for that.”

Kelly’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Do you mean to tell me you’d rather sit in a dark smoky room with a bunch of machines than out on a sunny deck watching women walk by in bikinis?”

Yvonne cocked her head to the side. “Now that you put it that way…”

The taxi came to a stop at the luggage drop, where the ship’s porters hurried to remove their suitcases from the trunk. Yvonne had already tagged her two bags with the color-coded labels from the cruise line so they could be delivered to their stateroom. Kelly intercepted her duffel, which didn’t have a tag. “I can

carry this one.”

“You ought to send it up with the baggage handlers,” Yvonne said, gesturing toward the clusters of passengers making their way to the terminal. “We could be in line for an hour or more.”

“Mine’s not that heavy. I didn’t pack much.”

“How can you go on a cruise for twelve days with just one bag? Oh, wait. I know. You didn’t have Steph Sizemore helping you pack and making sure you had three changes of clothes for every day.”

“Precisely,” Kelly said. “I learned in the navy how to pack light and wash out my own clothes.”

Yvonne eyed Kelly’s bag and the backpack she had slung over her shoulder. “Didn’t you pack some dress clothes for dinner?”

“I have a few things. I promise not to embarrass anyone.”

“Oh, I won’t be embarrassed. But given the size of that bag, if I see you in more than three different outfits I’m going to be impressed.”

At the entrance to the terminal they showed their passports and boarding documents, and followed the mob up the escalator to check-in. True to Yvonne’s prediction, the line snaked through the terminal, several hundred passengers deep. Most seemed to be couples, tired husbands in khakis and polo shirts, laden with shoulder bags, and wives in the first of their colorful vacation attire. It was no surprise that several children were in tow, as this was their holiday break from school.

A cheery woman in a tropical skirt and blouse greeted them. “It isn’t as bad as it looks. We have over thirty people working registration. You’ll be on board sipping a rum runner in thirty minutes.”

Kelly dropped her bag and kicked it gently forward in line. “Tell me again who all these people are. There are six of us, right?”

“Right. That’s you, me, Steph, Natalie... Steph and Natalie have been best friends since college. They’re like soul mates.”

“Don’t you ever get jealous?”

“No way. Natalie does all the things with Steph that would drive me insane. You know those people who shop until they drop?”

Kelly nodded.

“Well, I shop only until I feel like killing somebody. But those two could go for days without coming up for air. And they trade recipes and pore over all those interior design magazines.”

“I like those magazines too.” She shrugged at Yvonne’s incredulous look. “When I worked with my dad, we used to do a lot of remodels. I like to see what other people are doing.”

“That’ll give you and Natalie lots to talk about. She bought a house last year that needs a lot of work.”

“She’d better be careful. Once I get started, I go crazy with ideas.” With a sudden burst, they wound around the ropes and moved up another twenty feet. “So it’s you, me, Steph and Natalie. Who are the other two?”

“Didi Caviness and Pamela somebody…I don’t remember her last name. Didi and Natalie own what most people consider the nicest women’s clothing store in Rochester. Of course, I’m no expert on that. I’m just repeating what Steph said.”

“And Pamela’s her girlfriend?”

“Yeah, her new girlfriend. They’ve been together about six months. Before that, Didi and Natalie were together for six years, but they split up a couple of years ago.”

“I take it they’re still friends as well as business partners, or they wouldn’t be cruising together.”

“They got along better than ever after they broke up—until Pamela came along. Natalie was hoping she and Didi would get back together, but I’m not so sure that’s because she’s still in love with her. I think it’s because Pamela lives in Manhattan and wants them to move the shop there. Didi’s really hot for that idea, but Natalie isn’t.”

Kelly groaned. “Dyke drama. Let’s hope everyone behaves for the next twelve days.”

“They haven’t killed each other yet.”

“That’s a pretty good sign, I guess.”

Yvonne chuckled as they moved up in the line again. “It’s a great sign if you ask me. I probably would have killed Didi myself if she hadn’t been Natalie’s girlfriend.”

“What? Is she bad news?”

“Not really. Most of the time she’s nice, and she’s fun to have around. But she’s a real clothes horse. I bet she brings twice as much stuff as any of us, and she’ll be immaculate whether she’s at a formal dinner or sitting on a barstool by the pool. She always looks good, and she knows it. Her problem is she can’t turn off her fashion critique and sometimes that gets old.”

“Sometimes?” Kelly looked down at her attire, a white cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up, olive green, knee-length baggy shorts and Birkenstocks. “I bet she has a field day with me. I should have worn one of my old navy uniforms. At least my shorts matched my shirt.”

Yvonne laughed and looked her up and down. “I think you look fine. This is supposed to be a freaking cruise, not a fashion show. Just don’t wear a silver watch with gold earrings like Steph did the last time we all went out together. I thought we’d never hear the end of it.”

Kelly tugged at her ears, which she had never had pierced. “No danger there. Do you think she’d like to see my tattoo?”

“You have a tattoo?”

She tugged her collar back and leaned forward to show a small black and yellow design at the top of her shoulder blade.

“Aw, man. You’ll have to show that to Steph. I’ve been trying for years to talk her into letting me get one.”

“This one’s a Sea Bee. Our whole unit got drunk one night in Key West, and we all woke up decorated. Thank God I had the good sense to pick a little one.”

They finally reached the front of the line, parting briefly as they checked in at separate stations. Kelly strode to the far left counter and came face to face with the reservation clerk, a young woman of Asian descent wearing a form-fitting dark uniform.

“Welcome to the Emerald Duchess…”

Kelly noted the familiar hesitation as the clerk—Kim from Taiwan, according to her nametag—waited for her to introduce herself.

“Hi, I’m Kelly Ridenour…Kelly Ann Ridenour.” Her plain clothing, short hair and lack of makeup or jewelry often kept strangers guessing as to her gender, especially since her voice was deeper than that of most women.

“Is this your first cruise, Miss Ridenour?”

“First one with Emerald. I took a couple of short ones back when I was stationed at Key West. I’m looking forward to the eastern islands.” She handed over her documents and waited while the woman completed her check-in.

“This is our most popular itinerary. And we’ve put in a special request for perfect weather just for you.”

“That’s great.” So was Kim’s smile, now that Kelly had a chance to study it. “I bet you enjoy sending people off on their dream vacation.”

“Especially since I’ll be coming along too.” She handed over a business card. “If there’s anything you need on board, don’t hesitate to call me at Guest Services.”

“Will do,” Kelly answered, wondering if “anything” included dinner companionship. She stepped toward the gangway and waited for Yvonne. “That man who checked you in…did he give you his business card?”

Yvonne stowed her paperwork and draped her camera bag over her shoulder. “Yeah, and he even said I could call him on board if I needed anything.”

“Damn! I was hoping my lady was flirting with me.” As they entered the ship’s majestic atrium, still decorated with a towering Christmas tree, Kelly drew a deep, satisfied breath. Kim or no Kim, this was going to be the best vacation of her life.

Yvonne grabbed her elbow and pointed to the balcony two decks above. “I’m going to drop my stuff off in the room and see if their plane’s in. Then we should meet up there and watch for them to come aboard.”

Kelly grinned. “I’ll be there, and I’ll have a rum runner in each hand.”


 

Natalie pressed her forehead against the window of the plane so she could follow the south Florida coastline directly below. She hoped her last-minute agreement to come along on this trip wasn’t a colossal mistake. When Steph and Yvonne had first floated the idea for a twelve-day cruise to the eastern Caribbean, it sounded like fun, but the more she thought about it, the more she worried whether she could put up with lovebirds Didi and Pamela for that long. In the end, her decision to buck up and make the trip was more a matter of choosing to be miserable with friends in the tropics instead of miserable alone at home in the snow.

Not that she didn’t like Pamela Roche just fine. The youthful New York designer knew she was stepping into an awkward situation with an ex-lover when she had started dating Didi, but she had been nothing but sweet and friendly to Natalie during her frequent visits to their shop. That didn’t change the fact that Natalie still had feelings for Didi, feelings that were trampled every time she saw the two of them fawning over each other, as they were doing right now up in the first-class cabin.

“What are you thinking about?” Steph asked, hooking her arm through Natalie’s. Ever the good sport, she had traded her aisle seat for the center so she and Natalie could sit together.

Natalie sighed. “I’m starting to wonder if this was a good idea.”

“Of course it is. Only an idiot would choose snow in Rochester over warm sand in Barbados.” She tightened her grip as though sensing Natalie needed a boost. “Yvonne and I were thrilled when you said you’d come. You and I are going to hit every store in the Caribbean, and who knows? You might just get lucky with someone on the cruise.”

“You mean if she’s rich and gorgeous and wants to worship the ground I walk on?”

If seeing Didi and Pamela as a loving couple wasn’t bad enough, there was also the matter of Didi’s near-constant badgering of Natalie to sell her half of the store so Didi could move it to New York. Natalie had always known it was Didi’s dream to hit the big time as a Manhattan fashion maven, and Natalie might have supported it as a life partner, but she wasn’t ready to see Didi walk out of her life for good. Eight years ago when they first became lovers, she had invested her entire savings in Didi’s dream, to say nothing of her sweat equity. Now that it was successful, she wanted to celebrate the triumph with Didi

and know their financial future was secure.

“Please tell me Kelly isn’t twenty-eight-years old,” she said, an allusion to Pamela and the fourteen-year age difference between her and Didi.

“She looks like she’s more our age. She’s been working for the city a couple of years and before that lived in Buffalo.”

“How did you guys meet her?”

“Kelly hurt her knee or something and came into Yvonne’s clinic for physical therapy. They hit it off and started hanging out.” Steph looked at the book bag at her feet. “If you get bored I’ll lend you some of my lesbian books. Nothing beats a hot, steamy romance.”

“Oh, please,” Natalie interjected, shaking her head in the direction of the forward cabin. “It’s bad enough I have to put up with those two.”

Steph lifted out of her seat to look at Didi and Pamela. “How did they manage to end up in first class? I thought we all booked at the same time.”

“Didi called back and upgraded with her frequent flyer miles,” Natalie answered. “She said she wasn’t going to ruin her vacation by traveling cattle-class. I hope we don’t have to put up with that princess routine the whole time we’re here. I get my fill of that at work every day.” In fact, she hoped to avoid the lovebirds as much as possible, though she wouldn’t mind a few chances to get off with Didi on her own. Who knows? She might even be able to talk some sense into her.

Steph stretched across her lap to peer outside as the plane banked over the coast and bounced through one of the billowy white clouds that dotted the sky above Miami. “Are we there yet?”

“Any minute.” She patted Steph’s back affectionately. Steph and Yvonne were her dearest friends in the world, the ones who had practically saved her life by encouraging her to move from Pascagoula to Rochester twelve years ago. Mississippi was no place for lesbians, they said, something they all knew from their college years at Ole Miss. Thank goodness for Yvonne’s softball scholarship and her eventual return home to Rochester, where Steph and Natalie had followed and made a new life. Other than the fact that people commented on her southern drawl every single day, she felt perfectly at home in upstate New York.

As the plane touched down, Natalie checked her watch and noted they were forty minutes late, but still had plenty of time to get to the ship. Not bad, considering their earlier doubts they would get out of Rochester this morning in the snow.

Didi and Pamela were waiting in the lounge as they exited the jet bridge. Both were dressed to the nines in smart wool slacks and sweaters, with tasteful jewelry, and what Natalie thought was a tad too much makeup. Pamela’s outfit was cut for a girlish figure—low waist and clingy top—which seemed to accentuate the age difference between her and Didi. Either that, or Natalie was just bitter about her ex seeing a much younger woman.

“We had the most marvelous shrimp in lobster sauce,” Didi exclaimed. “Did you guys get something good in the back?”

“Very funny. We split a granola bar and washed it down with a bottle of water.” Steph reached out and mussed Didi’s perfect hair. “And by the way, I intend to eat whatever I want for the next twelve days and I don’t want to hear any shit from anyone. I’ve been eating lettuce for a whole month so I could splurge.”

“I think you look terrific,” Natalie said, remembering how Didi used to jealously whine in private when she gave compliments to others. Steph had worked hard to avoid extra calories all through Thanksgiving and Christmas so she could enjoy the ship’s bountiful cuisine without guilt, and she deserved heaps of praise. “In fact, you’ve never looked better.”

They trudged with the crowd to baggage claim, arriving just as the carousel started to churn. Bags belonging to cruise passengers were already tagged for delivery to their stateroom. All they had to do was pick them up and place them on the luggage cart next to the cruise line representative.

Natalie spotted her brown tweed Hartmann bag and wormed her way closer to the belt. Just as she reached for the grip, Didi’s hand came out of nowhere and snatched it away. “This one’s mine, Nat. I figured you’d bring yours too, so I tied a ribbon on the handle.”

Glumly, she stepped back. Matching luggage had seemed like a good idea three years ago when they were a couple. Now it was just another caustic reminder of a relationship gone sour.

“Here’s yours, Natalie,” Pamela called cheerfully. “I’ll get it for you.” She tugged it off the conveyor and set it beside Didi’s.

“Thank you.” It was impossible not to like Pamela, but equally impossible to feel good about Didi having someone so nice for a girlfriend. “I have one more if you see it, a matching grip.”

“So does Didi. And she brought her big garment bag too.”

Of course she did. Didi never went anywhere without half her wardrobe. Natalie decided to step back and let Pamela retrieve the bags. She bit her tongue to keep from congratulating Didi for finding someone who would help her in her golden years. “We deserve to celebrate these next twelve days, Didi. Our holiday season was off the charts.”

“It was a good year,” Didi said. “Could have been even better on Eighth Avenue.”

Natalie sighed. “Give it a rest, okay? Let’s just call a truce and quit talking about this while we’re here.”

“Under one condition,” Didi said, swinging around to look her in the eye. “You promise we’ll talk seriously about it when we get home. And I don’t mean just me asking you again and you saying no. I mean we sit down and talk about what it’s going to take for you to say yes. I’m prepared to make you a generous offer for your half of the business, but I can’t do that if you won’t listen at all.”

As far as Natalie was concerned, a truly generous offer would have to include Didi ditching Pamela and coming back to her. Whatever their differences, they could start fresh and work things out. Once they got their relationship back on track, Natalie might even consider moving their shop to New York. “We’ll talk about it.”

“You promise?”

“I said we’d talk about it,” she said tersely, feeling instantly guilty for her tone. “I promise we’ll sit down together when we get back to Rochester. Let’s just have fun with our friends while we’re here.” She reached down for her bag.

“That one’s mine.”

“No, it isn’t. Yours has the—” She peered closely at the tags and compared cabin numbers. “I’ll be damned,” she muttered under her breath. It wasn’t enough that they were cruising together. Didi and Pamela were in the adjacent stateroom.


 

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